Initiation

Late last calendar year I made a pretty big jump from the solitary world of witchcraft that I'd been living in to the more formal arena of being a Student of Wicca. I didn't do it lightly, but boy was it time. I started taking classes from a High Priestess of Wicca in January. From these classes came all the opportunities I've had to practice and worship with large groups for holidays.

When classes began there were four of us. Traditionally, study for a first year Wiccan initiation is a year and a day. Since January, the other three students have, for various reasons, stopped attending our HPS's classes. I am the last one left. It has been discussed between my HPS and I that I am obviously beyond these first year studies, and that I should hold on because second year would be coming. All along I've known that I'd be offered initiation -- it was hardly ever a question in my mind.

But the call came and I still wasn't mentally prepared for it. My teacher called me this weekend to inform me that since I am the last witch standing (hah!), and since I have little need for first year instruction, she would like to begin preparing me for initation now. It hit me slowly over the course of the next few days: I am taking a major leap into this world through initation. It got me to thinking about my baptism many years ago, and all the same feelings all over again. There is peace at the core, but also the nervousness that comes with commitment, and the belonging that comes with being invited to join a group.

I sought baptism as a freckle-faced twelve year old. I faithfully attended every meeting and read every scripture (even the ones that condemned my family to hell). For several months I attended weekly classes and filled out my Bible study cards with pride. No one else in my family was making this commitment and I felt quite special that I had discovered the key to life and immortality.

I carefully chose my best bathing suit to wear underneath the baptismal robes. At the top of the stairs entering the giant tiled baptismal, I stood waiting for my brothers and sisters in Christ to be welcomed into this family just the same way as I would be shortly. Soon I was waist deep in water and my robes were floating all around me. The pastor talked for a moment about how everyone in the community knew who I was because of my big personality and my penchant for hugging everyone. Oh, the moment that I heard the words that I thought were ultimate acceptance: "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, I baptize you," before taking a long deep breath and then a long deep plunge into the waters of renewal.

The same things I felt that day are the things I feel now leading up to my initiation into witchcraft. It has been eleven years since that first acceptance into a spiritual family. This spiritual family is no less accepting, and it feels wonderful.